Why Mum Worry Feels Constant (And What You Can Do About It) 

These are just some of the many, many things that can understandably worry you as a mum. 

And worry isn’t all bad. At its best, it helps us think through potential challenges and consider how we might respond to them. 

But what is really common and not so helpful is excessively worrying. This is when you can’t stop thinking about a future issue and find yourself feeling anxious and unable to focus on what you are doing in the present. 

In this blog, I’ll explore why excessive worry is so common and how it can impact your life. I’ll also share some ways to help dial it down so that you can still attend to the things that matter without feeling consumed by worry. 

What is Excessive Worry in Motherhood? 

Worry is the brain doing what it is primarily designed to do: keep you safe. The brain is wired to be alert and attuned to potential threats, helping you anticipate danger and work out what needs to be done to avoid it.

We can think about worry as either helpful or problematic. Helpful worry is usually temporary and helps us think through a situation and prepare. Problematic worry, on the other hand, is when worry becomes prolonged, repetitive, and difficult to switch off.

Helpful worry can support planning and preparation. Problematic worry, however, tends to leave us feeling anxious, mentally exhausted, and no closer to any real solution.

It’s easy for our minds to move from helpful to unhelpful worry. When we experience uncertainty or discomfort, we often look for ways to reduce that feeling quickly. This might include Googling for answers, seeking reassurance from others, or mentally going over scenarios repeatedly.

These strategies can bring short-term relief. The difficulty is that over time, they can teach the brain that we need them in order to feel safe, reinforcing the idea that uncertainty is intolerable. This is what helps keep the cycle of excessive worry going.

Excessive worry can leave you feeling on edge, unable to relax, and emotionally drained. Over time, it uses up a significant amount of mental energy, leaving fewer resources for the rest of life and making everyday demands feel even more difficult and overwhelming.

How to Reduce Overthinking and Worry in Motherhood 

First, the good news: reducing excessive worry is absolutely possible, and I see this happen regularly in my work.

The more difficult part is that change can feel uncomfortable at first.

It’s also important to say that it doesn’t matter what the specific worry is. What we’re working with are the underlying thought patterns that keep worry going.

Overall, the aim is to help your mind learn that it is safe to delay or reduce worry. This helps break the belief that you must immediately engage with every worry in order to stay safe.

We do this by practising delaying worry, which gives your mind the chance to learn that nothing bad happens when you don’t engage straight away. Over time, this builds your ability to choose when and how much you worry.

Here are some ways to start working on this:

Worry-free Zones

Choose parts of your day to be worry-free. For example, this may be mealtimes, walks, or playtime. If worries come up, gently bring your attention back to what you’re doing. It’s not about getting it perfect, but about practising noticing and moving your attention. Over time, this becomes easier and more natural.

Worry Time

Set aside a specific time in your day to focus on worries. If worries come up earlier, you can write them down and return to them later. This may feel counterintuitive, but it helps prevent worry from spreading throughout the day and teaches your mind that it doesn’t need immediate attention.

If once a day feels too difficult at first, start by simply delaying worry for a short time (minutes or hours). Small steps still count and can build up over time. Between noticing a worry and your scheduled time, you can again gently bring your attention back to what you are doing in the present moment.

During worry time, try asking:

1. Is this within my control?
2. If yes, what is the problem and what are possible solutions?
3. What are the pros and cons of each?
4. Which option feels most helpful, and when will I review it? 

What Sits Underneath Worry 

It’s also important to recognise that beneath worry, there are often difficult emotions or past experiences.

This might look like sadness around the uncertainty of having more children, remembering how out of control you felt the last time you were unwell, or feelings of resentment when you think about not having someone you could call if things felt overwhelming.

Reducing excessive worry doesn’t mean ignoring these emotions.

There is space to both acknowledge what you are feeling and notice when worry is becoming unhelpful or spiralling.

In my experience, there is real value in gently turning towards these emotions rather than automatically pushing them away. When we take time to understand what we are feeling, it can bring more clarity and make those feelings feel more manageable. Over time, this creates more space to move through emotions, rather than feeling stuck in them or controlled by them. 

Therapy for Worry and Overthinking: How it Can Help 

If you’re finding that worry is starting to take over your life, and you feel that some 1:1 support would help, you can book a free 20-minute introductory call with me here to explore how I might support you further. 

Therapy can support you to start reducing worry in a way that feels manageable and tailored to you. As a therapist, I can help you gently notice where these patterns are showing up in your day-to-day life, and we can work together to understand what keeps them going. I can also offer encouragement, structure, and direction to help you make changes even when it feels difficult or overwhelming.

Therapy is also a compassionate and non-judgemental space where you can feel heard and truly seen. Alongside working on worry itself, it gives space to explore and make sense of your emotions, as well as any past experiences that may still be having an impact today. Over time, this can help you feel more grounded, more in control of your responses, and less weighed down by the past.