Understanding Postnatal Depression: Causes, Symptoms & Support

Postnatal depression is a common experience that can significantly impact your emotional wellbeing and daily functioning in early motherhood. Often there can be misunderstanding about postnatal depression and what it means. This article will help you understand what postnatal depression is, why you may experience it, how it shows up, and—most importantly—what can help you feel like yourself again.

What is Postnatal Depression?

Around 15-20% of women experience depression in the first year after birth. However, these figures are very likely to be an underestimation, as many people struggle silently without receiving support or being included in official statistics.

Postnatal depression refers to a persistent experience of low mood and other symptoms following the birth of a baby. These symptoms may include:

• A loss of energy or motivation
• Feelings of inadequacy or failure
• Feeling emotionally detached including from your baby 
• Anxiety and/or irritability
• A loss of joy or excitement about life
• A sense of emptiness 
• Anger or resentment—including directed toward your baby
• Feeling overly clingy with your baby due to fear of losing them

Postnatal depression can show up as a lack of positive feelings, the presence of negative feelings, or both.

For some people, postnatal depression affects how they feel in their relationship with their baby. You might struggle to understand your baby’s needs or find caring for them incredibly effortful and unrewarding. For others, postnatal depression doesn’t impact the bond with their baby—in fact, caring for their baby can sometimes help them through the depression. Both experiences are equally valid and say nothing about your worth as a parent.

It’s also important to remember: as a mother, you are still a person in your own right. Feeling a wide range of emotions—including anger, sadness, frustration, or resentment—is perfectly normal. These feelings alone aren’t a cause for concern. They become more significant when they begin to feel stuck, overwhelming, or interfere with your day-to-day wellbeing and ability to parent in the way you’d like to.

Why Does Postnatal Depression Happen?

There isn’t one clear cause of postnatal depression. Instead, many different factors can increase the likelihood of experiencing it. Because you’re a unique individual, your life experiences and personal makeup mean the reasons behind your symptoms will be unique to you. 

As you read on, you’ll see that understanding what may have contributed to your experience is often an important first step toward feeling better.

Some common contributing factors include:

Lack of Support

One of the most significant risk factors for postnatal depression is a lack of support. In our modern world, many women are raising children in environments that don’t align with how humans have evolved to parent. Historically, we were part of small, close-knit communities where multiple caregivers shared the responsibility of raising children and supporting new mothers during their transition into motherhood. For many, this is a stark difference to the isolated environments that mothers are often in today.

Often women also feel that they should be able to manage everything effortlessly and joyfully on their own. This leaves no room for the very real struggles and challenges that the perinatal period often brings. This can cause many women to feel like something is wrong with them if they find motherhood difficult. The truth, however, is that parenting is incredibly demanding, and no one is meant to do it alone. 

Feeling Undervalued: The Social Roots of Postnatal Depression

Depression is known to be closely linked to our sense of belonging and value within society. Throughout the animal kingdom, individuals who perceive themselves as low in the social hierarchy often withdraw from social interactions to signal they aren’t a threat to more dominant members. This protective mechanism closely mirrors what happens in depression—people withdraw from social interactions, which can worsen feelings of isolation and deepen depressive symptoms.

In modern society, the journey into motherhood often lacks a clear social framework. Many women have built strong identities through careers or social roles before becoming mothers, often receiving approval and a sense of reward for their achievements. After having a baby, however, they may find themselves quickly separated from their previous life and thrown into a new space where there is no defined role to step into and feel valuable in. 

Additionally, mothers frequently face judgment about their parenting choices—what they should or shouldn’t do, what’s best or what’s harmful. Studies show that up to 90% of mothers feel judged for their parenting decisions. This pressure can make a mother feel undervalued, unsupported, and vulnerable in her social world. Given all this, it’s understandable that many women withdraw in the postnatal period. 

Lack of Sleep 

A lack of sleep is a well-known contributor to depression. During sleep, our brains process the emotions and experiences of the day, helping us regulate our feelings more effectively. Without enough rest, our ability to respond to stress with calm and reason decreases, as does our capacity for positive emotion. I’m sure you don’t need me to point out the relevance of this research to the postpartum period!

Oxytocin and Its Role in Postnatal Depression

Research shows that women experiencing postnatal depression often have lower levels of oxytocin, the hormone responsible for fostering feelings of closeness, warmth, and love. However, it’s not yet fully understood why some women have different oxytocin levels than others.

Emerging studies also suggest that people respond to oxytocin in varied ways. For instance, individuals who have faced insecure relationships or adverse experiences early in life may be less likely to experience oxytocin’s positive effects. Instead, they might be more prone to emotions like anger, fear, mistrust, and sadness when oxytocin is released.

The Impact of Stressful Life Circumstances

If you’re experiencing stressful circumstances—such as financial difficulties or domestic violence—you may be more vulnerable to postnatal depression. High levels of stress can also affect your ability to bond with your baby. This isn’t a conscious choice or a reflection of your love, but a natural response to being in a stressful situation. 

Adjusting to a New Life

Pregnancy and the postpartum period bring enormous change. It’s natural for intense emotions to arise as you begin to make sense of your new life, changing identity, and evolving relationships.

There can also be feelings of loss or grief for aspects of your life that have changed or are no longer possible. On top of that, difficult experiences such as a traumatic birth, breastfeeding challenges, or realising that motherhood isn’t what you had hoped for can bring their own unique emotional toll.

This period of change can also resurface past unresolved experiences or traumas, especially when life feels unstable or overwhelming.

All of these layers need space to be acknowledged, understood, and processed. Without that space or adequate support, emotions can build up over time and weigh you down. 

Postnatal Depression is Not Your Fault 

When looking at all the factors that can contribute to postnatal depression, one important thing is true: it’s not your fault. 

Postnatal depression is not caused by:

• Not being a good enough mum 
• Not loving your baby enough
• Something being inherently wrong with you

These are all things which depression might make you think are true. It’s very common to feel guilty for experiencing postnatal depression or to think that there is something wrong with you for not enjoying motherhood.

But postnatal depression is not a personal failure.

It is a natural and understandable response to your unique set of life circumstances—whether that’s a lack of support, exhaustion, previous trauma, or overwhelming change.

Postnatal depression is also a temporary experience which you’re able to overcome to feel like yourself again.

The problem is that when guilt takes hold, it tends to drive further isolation. You may pull away from people or activities that once brought connection or joy—yet these are exactly the things we need to support our wellbeing. The more you withdraw, the more deeply stuck in the cycle of depression you can become.

Ways to Work Through Postnatal Depression

As we’ve explored, there are many factors that can contribute to postnatal depression. Gaining insight into your unique experience is often the first step towards feeling better. Understanding the root of your symptoms helps guide you toward changes that are meaningful to you. 

Having a space where you feel heard, understood, and supported can make an enormous difference during this time of transition. For many people, especially those who’ve learned to push through emotions or who were taught to suppress their feelings in childhood, it can feel challenging to slow down and explore how they’re feeling. 

Therapy can offer a non-judgemental space to begin that exploration. In my practice, we wouldn’t focus on the diagnosis of postnatal depression—instead, we’d explore how your symptoms are showing up in your life and how they’re impacting you personally.

The next steps will look different for each person, depending on their life experiences and desires for the future. That said, there are also some more general strategies that many people find helpful when navigating postnatal depression. These may also be helpful if therapy isn’t accessible to you right now.

Breaking the Depression Cycle

When you’re experiencing depression, it’s easy to become stuck in a cycle: low mood leads to a lack of motivation, which means you stop doing the things that usually bring you joy or help you feel connected. As a result, your mood dips even further.

Breaking this cycle can be an important step toward feeling more like yourself again.

A helpful place to start is by gently reintroducing small activities into your day—things you might look forward to, or that bring even a small sense of connection or joy. You might not feel excited about these things at first, and that’s okay. It’s very common to go through the motions initially. But over time, these small steps can begin to shift how you feel.

Of course, during the postpartum period, you will likely be limited in what activities you can do. That alone can feel like a challenge. It might take some experimentation to discover new ways to experience joy and connection within your current reality. 

You might also find it helpful to keep a simple log of how you feel at different points during the day. When you’re feeling low, it can seem like every moment is hard. But tracking your emotions may reveal small windows of relief. Noticing these moments can give you clues about what helps and where to invest more of your time and energy.

Even small changes that you make now can easily snowball into much larger changes within time. You may also find having a supportive and encouraging person with you during this process valuable. This is another area where therapy can support. Therapy can also help with the blocks or resistance that might come up when trying to break this cycle. 

Understanding the Emotional Benefits of Time With Your Baby

If you’re struggling with your wellbeing in the postnatal period, taking care of your baby can be incredibly difficult. You may be struggling with the physical aspects of care or struggling to understand your baby’s needs. It’s also very common to feel like you’re not good enough or to believe that someone else would do a better job looking after your baby.

While it’s important to ask for and receive support, it’s also valuable to spend time close to your baby. Being near your baby can help in a few meaningful ways. 

Closeness helps to raise your oxytocin levels (the hormone linked with bonding and calm), which can support emotional connection and reduce anxiety. Over time, these moments together can also begin to gently challenge the difficult thoughts that tell you you’re not good enough.

It’s okay if it takes time to feel comfortable spending more time with your baby. Start small. Even just sitting near them or watching them while they sleep is a positive beginning. Slowly, your confidence and comfort will grow.

Just like learning any new skill, developing your unique way of connecting and caring for your baby takes time. This is also true for your baby who may take time to become used to your presence. Once your baby becomes familiar with your way of doing things though, there will be no place that they would rather be. 

I appreciate that this process may be one that comes with lots of complexities and challenges. If you feel you’re struggling with this, I would recommend reaching out for some more personal support to help you overcome these challenges. 

Moving From a Threat State to a Relaxed State

As we’ve explored throughout this article, anxiety and stress are incredibly common in the postpartum period. In this tense threat state, your body and mind are focused on survival and therefore it becomes very difficult to experience positive emotions. 

That’s why an important part of feeling better is learning to shift from a threat state to a more relaxed, regulated state. When we begin to calm the body and signal safety to the brain, the door opens to moments of connection and joy.

One way to create this shift is by strengthening what’s known as the soothing system. Here are two simple ways to begin building your soothing system:

• Soothing Rhythm Breathing. This simple breathing exercise helps calm the body and mind by slowing and steadying your breath.
• Building Self-Compassion. Compassion means engaging with our suffering and offering kindness instead of judgment. There are various exercises we can do to cultivate compassion, here is one helpful exercise to start with. 

I know it can feel overwhelming to try and find time for an additional thing in the perinatal period, but even just a few minutes per day practicing these exercises can start to make a difference. 

In therapy, developing a soothing state and self-compassion can be something we can work on together. For many, they find resistance, fear, or suppressed feelings can come up when trying to cultivate these states and these are blocks that we can work to overcome in therapy.

Final Thoughts 

Experiencing postnatal depression can be incredibly painful and isolating. If you’re struggling, it’s important to remember that good mums experience postnatal depression and it is possible to feel like yourself again. 

If you’re struggling and feel you would benefit from further 1:1 support, you can book a free, no-obligation 20-minute phone call with me here. On this call we can cover any questions you may have and discuss how I can support you further.