As a mum myself, I get that being able to have at least one hour of child-free time ranges from somewhere between impossible to difficult. With this, it might seem that bringing your baby to therapy with you is the obvious solution. But is this the best approach for you? In this blog I’ll discuss some points that you may want to consider when making your decision.
What Do You Want To Take From Therapy?
Considering if you will be able to take what you want from therapy with your baby present is a good place to begin. On some weeks, your therapy session might perfectly align with nap times–but of course other times your baby may need a lot from you.
How would it feel to juggle your baby’s needs while trying to focus on your own? Would you feel able to explore difficult topics, or might you hold back because it feels too much to manage both at once? How might it be for you to be mid-way though sharing something only to be stopped by your baby’s needs?
With a baby present, a certain level of flexibility from both client and therapist will be needed. In my practice, I always make space to check in—both at the beginning of our work and along the way—about how it feels to have your baby present, and how we can best work around any challenges that come up.
Expressing Yourself With Your Baby Present
It’s also worth thinking about how it might feel to express certain emotions or discuss difficult experiences while your baby is in the room. In your baby’s presence, might it be the case that you self-censor what you discuss? For example, ambivalent feelings about motherhood are very common. How would it be to discuss this whilst your baby is present? Similarly, how might it be to have potentially difficult or charged emotions come up?
Different people will have different preferences for what they feel comfortable being discussed in sessions with their baby present. If you decide there are some topics you don’t want to dive into during sessions, that’s completely okay—we only work with what you choose to bring. If there are things you do want to talk about but are finding difficult to approach with your baby present, we can start by gently exploring why it feels hard—without needing to go into the topic itself straight away.
If it feels like emotions can easily become overwhelming for you and this is something you would like to change, we could work on developing the ability to manage strong emotions. This may include grounding techniques which are methods of bringing you back to the present moment when feeling overwhelmed. These can be useful not just in therapy, but in everyday life too, and can make discussing more difficult topics feel more manageable.
Practical Considerations
If bringing your baby feels like the best overall option for you, it’s worth checking with the therapist you’re considering working with to see if they are open to this. In my own practice, I want to remove all possible barriers that may prevent you from accessing support. This means that I’m happy for your baby to come along too as long as we’re able to communicate to a good enough level for the sessions to be beneficial to you.
It’s also worth thinking about the logistics. For example, if you are wanting sessions in-person, is the room baby and pram friendly? Alternatively, you may find that online or phone sessions from home feel easier to manage when juggling therapy with caring for your baby.
As the Situation Changes
As we all know, babies grow so quickly! This means that arrangements around your baby attending sessions with you are likely to change. This includes considering that bringing your baby to therapy may no longer be suitable when they are able to understand the context of what is being spoken about. There may also come a point when the baby’s presence affects your ability to communicate with the therapist to such an extent that the sessions no longer feel as valuable.
It’s completely normal for arrangements around therapy to evolve over time. We can revisit how things are working and make adjustments as needed.
Final Thoughts
I hope this post has helped you reflect on whether bringing your baby to therapy feels right for you. Of course, I also acknowledge that the only option might be to bring your baby. It may not feel like the ideal situation, but it may feel better than nothing. There may also be many feelings around this situation that come up and would benefit from being spoken and explored in sessions.
If after reading this blog you have any queries around how it might be for you to access therapy–with or without your baby present–I offer a free, no-obligation 20-minute initial call to discuss how I can support you. You can book that here.
Megan Baldry
I am a counsellor and psychotherapist who supports women with their mental health and wellbeing during the perinatal period.
I’m a BACP registered therapist with a masters degree in counselling and psychotherapy and specialist training in perinatal mental health.
I offer sessions online and via phone in the UK. I offer regular and ad-hoc therapy sessions which are a space for you to be supported and work on goals that feel meaningful to you.
I also produce blogs and videos around therapy and the common challenges and transitions that come up in the perinatal period.
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